During the years that I was serving our parish, I am about to have my investiture as altar server. I told my mom that I need to have an Alb for the event and I want to join the investiture. My mom cannot promise me due to our financial crisis that time. One Sunday, after the 10am mass, one parishioner approached me and asked me if I already have an Alb for the investiture. I always see her in our parish but do not know her personally. I told her that it is also my problem, my mom don’t have money to have one for me. She gave me a small paper with her name and contact number and asked me to call her Saturday morning and we will buy cloth for my Alb. That was the only time that I knew her name; she was Mrs. Pining Sumabat, living 2 streets away from our house. We went to the market and she looked for the best white cloth for me. When she handed me the cloth, she asked me: “Do you want to be a priest?” I told her that I am not sure but I am considering it. That was the start of our good friendship. I considered her as my angel who gave me initial sign what I want to become in the future. Every time we meet in parish, she is always asking me about my decision and telling me that she would sponsor me.
It was in 1998 when I started my college year. During my 2nd year at PMI Colleges Manila, I learned that my cousin is also studying in that same school taking up same course as mine. I tried looking for her but due to conflict of schedule, we don’t have the opportunity to meet. During rehearsal for Mr. and Ms. University 2000, where I was one of the contestants, she approached me asking if I am the son of Rolando Carpio and grandson of Catalina Carpio, she also introduced herself. She invited me then to attend the Campus Ministry after we talked. At first I was a bit hesitant due to my work schedule, I am also an officer in our college Student Council and rehearsing for the pageant, but she really insisted it so I decided to come with her after the rehearsal. I had a great time with the group, and meet Fr. Mikey Timbol,sss and Sr. Lyn Panti, dc who helped me later on my vocation journey.
It was during Lenten recollection of 2000 at Sta. Cruz Church when I suddenly think again of entering the seminary. I confided it with Fr. Mikey since he was our spiritual director in Campus Ministry. He helped me in my journey, he also advised me to finish first my studies and after I graduate, he will help me see more about Religious life. I was very persistent then with my vocation. I inquired with different congregations and one of them was the Scalabrinians. One day, I received a letter from one of the community where I attended search-in seminar. The vocation director advised me that my application did not succeed and continue my life outside because I can be a good provider to my own family. Since then I stopped my communications with other seminary and live my life to its fullest. After my graduation, I landed to a good job, helping my family to cope up with our financial difficulties.
March 2003, I received another unexpected invitation for a search-in seminar from Fr. Edward Pacquing, vocation director of the Scalabrinians. I just put it aside and not minding it, I indulge myself to work and forgot everything about the invitation. A day prior to the search in seminar, on a busy day at work, the idea about it suddenly came to me. There are two forces in me that time, I want and I don’t want to go because I’m busy with my work. After few hours of thinking, I finally decide that I am not going if I don’t have companion. I then started contacting my friends telling about the seminar and they declined my invitation to join me. Last person that I contacted was one of my co-parishioner and friend. Telling him about the invitation, he encouraged me to attend it and he is willing to come with me even I did not ask him to. It was Friday night before Palm Sunday, we arrived late but the priests and seminarians was very accommodating. I file again another application and take exam and spiritual counseling with Fr. Pacquing as part of the seminar. Easter Sunday, I received a call from Fr. Pacquing telling me that they are already on their way to our house to meet my parent. He talked to my mom and at that very moment, he told us that I am accepted for the next school year. My mom cannot speak that time, since they don’t have any idea about it. The next thing I see myself doing was preparing my resignation and bidding goodbye to my friends and telling Sr. Lyn,dc and Fr. Mikey,sss that I am entering the seminary.
May 15, 2003, I first set my feet and venture seminary life. I really have had a great time then and never have any regrets giving up my work, my friends outside and life with my family. February of 2004, I am thinking of leaving the seminary, but the force in me is saying that this is my life and after series of spiritual directions and consultations with my rector, I decided to continue. School year of 2004-2005, I am having now my Philosophy Class at Christ the King Mission Seminary. At the same time, our rector advised me and my batch that we are accelerated to Postulancy and we need to write a letter of intension. Instead of having semester and Christmas breaks, we need to go to Cebu City for our Postulancy program.
After our semester break, our college dean called me to his office. He told me that our Latin Instructor told him that I was caught cheating during our exam. Without any hesitation, I admit it immediately because I really did. He then told me that I am expelled from the school. I asked him for another chance. He told me that, he will just admit me if I will tell my rector to speak with him regarding that incident. After talking to him, I immediately come to my rector’s office and told him the story. He was very considerate. The next day, he went to our dean’s office and spoke regarding the situation. They asked me to prepare a promissory note that I will not cheat again and I did it and I was truthful with it.
January of 2005, our Novice Master came to Manila and informed us that our Postulancy program is successful and it’s about time for us to apply for Novitiate. Result to our application was released March of same year and I was granted to continue my novitiate. Few days after receiving the good news, my rector called me again, telling me that our dean called again and told him that I cheated again and I am totally expelled now from school. I left the seminary as a failure.
During Holy week, while spending time contemplating in front of the Blessed Sacrament in our parish, I received his message telling me that If I will just be silent, it seems that I admit the accusation. I then decide and asked for His help and courage. After Easter Sunday, I constantly come to our school to see if Fr. Tagura (College Dean) was in. Several days after, I met him finally. I told him that I did not come to be admitted again in the seminary or to their school but to clear my name. I stand on my belief that I had been truthful with my promissory note and I did not cheat, but still he is convinced with what he believes. We end up to a confrontation, in the end; I realized that whatever I tell him, nothing can change his mind. I left his office asking for an apology for the confrontation and go back to Scalabrini Formation House and told Fr. Nilo what had happened.
Two months later, I got a good job, kept myself busy and enjoyed the life outside. I am very much hesitant to tell others my experience inside because I’m afraid of rejection. Later, I realized that it is part of me and I learned a lot of thing in it. At this point of realization, I freely share my experience with other not minding if they will understand or reject me. After a year, I got a job offer here in Saudi Arabia. I am very thankful now with the Scalabrinians, being missionaries to the migrants, I learned a lot of things and using them in my stay here. Thanks to Fr. Tagura, he made me strong and taught me to stand on my belief.
Lately, I found myself thinking if I did the right decision of not giving seminary life second chance. As I weigh my experience inside the seminary and my current life, though I had a not so good experience inside the seminary, I can say that it is more rewarding and fulfilling. Yes, now I can buy what I want, I am traveling abroad, have a wonderful girlfriend. But the spiritual satisfaction that I found inside the formation process is more worthy than these things.
Mga Post
Walang komento:
Mag-post ng isang Komento